In what some are likening to Sir Alexander Fleming’s accidental discovery of penicillin in 1928, University of Wisconsin–Madison freshman Kip Henderson, originally from Billings, Montana, made a startling find of his own last Thursday during lunch inside the Gordon Dining and Event Center.
“I had just finished a bean burrito, so I was already riding high,” recalled Henderson. “But then I dug into this dessert I ordered on a whim.”
After scooping through an airy layer of whipped cream dotted with shaved chocolate, he next came upon a gelatinous tier of vanilla-flavored custard. Nothing out of the ordinary. It was after breaking through this custard barrier, however, that Henderson’s life changed forever. “Out of the blue,” Henderson exclaimed, “I encounter fudge … at the bottom of this pie! It was like uncovering buried treasure. Only, I had no map and no way on earth of ever knowing I should be searching for such a dark delight.”
When asked to comment, Harriett Mulligan, who represents University Housing Dining and Culinary Services said, “Well, I mean, it is called fudge-bottom pie.”
Instead of consuming another bite, Henderson went into full excavation mode. And he became more than a little obsessed with what he could only describe as some “new species” of consumable.
According to Mulligan, fudge-bottom pie has been served every day on campus since at least the 1950s. “Kids these days,” she said. “They just need to get their heads out of their … phones.”
Undaunted, and spurred on by the growing crowd that started to form around him (“I thought the poor guy was choking,” muttered an onlooker.), Henderson soldiered on. “I owed it to humankind to put my personal hunger aside and conduct a full-on archeological dig right there on the spot — which, if I’m being honest, wasn’t hard because that bean burrito started coming back to haunt me.”
Henderson has always fancied himself a trailblazer. It’s one of the reasons he chose to attend UW–Madison in the first place. “I had been told that the UW is where breakthrough discoveries are made,” marveled Henderson. “This must be what they meant!”
The next day, Henderson returned to the scene looking to expand his dig site. “May I have your attention please — this Krispie treat does not, I repeat, does not contain fudge at the bottom,” he proclaimed to no one in particular. “Curiously though, it has an almost crisp-like texture to it. Please rest assured further analysis is being conducted.”
More April Fools Fun
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