Ghost man
1.4.09
It’s strange… Sean is here, yet he’s not here. He stays up very late (or, rather, very early — well into the wee hours), then sleeps very late, then spends a lot of time on his laptop in the living room, or a lot of time reading books in his bedroom. He did move his “encampment” (his chair of choice, laptop, mouse, and headphones) up to the living room from the basement so that he could be more in the center of things — which I do appreciate; don’t get me wrong — but it’s still kind of like he’s not here.
He feels uncomfortable when I comment on this and accuses me of mounting a guilt trip, but that’s not my intent — I’m just making what I think is an accurate observation. Mostly I want him to know that I’m okay with his approach to his vacation because it’s precisely that: his and a vacation. He’s worked hard (too hard, I’ve worried at times) this semester; he deserves a break; and this is time that he’s been looking forward to to do as he pleases.
For my part, I’m trying to give him acres of space and leeway, as befits his status as an independent person. Still, though, it’s not really the cool bonding time that I had imagined. We have two more weeks before he goes back, so I can try harder to connect with him… But maybe the way it is is kind of how it should be: one more baby step in loosening the ties so that both of us can feel all right about going in our own directions.
He feels uncomfortable when I comment on this and accuses me of mounting a guilt trip, but that’s not my intent — I’m just making what I think is an accurate observation. Mostly I want him to know that I’m okay with his approach to his vacation because it’s precisely that: his and a vacation. He’s worked hard (too hard, I’ve worried at times) this semester; he deserves a break; and this is time that he’s been looking forward to to do as he pleases.
For my part, I’m trying to give him acres of space and leeway, as befits his status as an independent person. Still, though, it’s not really the cool bonding time that I had imagined. We have two more weeks before he goes back, so I can try harder to connect with him… But maybe the way it is is kind of how it should be: one more baby step in loosening the ties so that both of us can feel all right about going in our own directions.
