Walking that tightrope again
5.18.09
I realized again last night that even though Sean seems to have changed relatively little during this school year gone by (although he is more outgoing, which is cool), I don’t seem to be a whole lot more accustomed to this balancing act between being a responsible parent and “allowing” him his due freedoms — the process whereby he informs me about his plans, time frames, and whereabouts, and not the other way around.
He’s always been so mature (sometimes bordering on curiously elderly!) that I’ve had to put very few restrictions in place. (At times, I bet his friends have even thought I was nuts, giving him so much “leash.”) But still, it is quite a change from how it used to be when I was the keeper of the calendar and the driver of the car. Last night, for example, I gave him a list of things that he needs to get accomplished soon, but instead of dictating how his day might go today in order to accomplish them, I asked, “So, what are your plans for tomorrow?”
It just feels so strange, and a bit unsteady, for me to not be in charge.
Sean’s great to have around, though. He’s been volunteering to do jobs around the house, and is so cooperative about the family plans that we have in mind. The oddest thing is how different and “full” it feels to add one more person to the house. It’s amazing how adding one person back in — who used to be here all the time — fleshes things out in such a big way. I guess it shows the power of adaptation. We’d gotten used to him being gone, and now he’s back and filling the house with his music, his bounding down the stairs, his hugs.
It’s all good.
He’s always been so mature (sometimes bordering on curiously elderly!) that I’ve had to put very few restrictions in place. (At times, I bet his friends have even thought I was nuts, giving him so much “leash.”) But still, it is quite a change from how it used to be when I was the keeper of the calendar and the driver of the car. Last night, for example, I gave him a list of things that he needs to get accomplished soon, but instead of dictating how his day might go today in order to accomplish them, I asked, “So, what are your plans for tomorrow?”
It just feels so strange, and a bit unsteady, for me to not be in charge.
Sean’s great to have around, though. He’s been volunteering to do jobs around the house, and is so cooperative about the family plans that we have in mind. The oddest thing is how different and “full” it feels to add one more person to the house. It’s amazing how adding one person back in — who used to be here all the time — fleshes things out in such a big way. I guess it shows the power of adaptation. We’d gotten used to him being gone, and now he’s back and filling the house with his music, his bounding down the stairs, his hugs.
It’s all good.
