Sick again
5.12.09
Sean just called to say that his cough is back. He’s sick again. He was all better a few days ago, but now he’s sick again.
He seemed to be arguing with me when I told him that he should go back to the health center (which, since he saw them the first time, had confirmed that it wasn’t pneumonia that he had after all, but some kind of a cold virus that could lead to pneumonia if it went untreated). He has his juries behind him, but he said he has three finals on Thursday… and he was meeting with a partner from his French class in an hour to put together and rehearse a presentation… and he has a rehearsal for the show he’s in tonight… and a rehearsal and performance for that show all day tomorrow… and its dress rehearsal is Thursday night… and besides that, he doesn’t know if the health center will have an appointment when he can fit one in. (That, I said somewhat sarcastically, would require asking them.)
He’s my son, that’s for sure. Those are exactly the kinds of excuses I would have used myself when I was in college — or as recently as yesterday, probably — to justify why I should keep going, keep doing, keep achieving, keep working, keep pushing myself, keep doing what my mind and my calendar tell me I should be doing, even through sickness that might trip me up in a bigger way later.
In a classic demonstration of “Do as I say, not as I would do in your situation,” though, I told him — between his coughs — that I understand that he’s busy, but his health has to come first. He has to take care of himself and get more medical help as soon as possible so that any advice or meds can be in place and doing their jobs when he really needs them in two days. He reluctantly agreed to call for an appointment.
Because he seemed to be arguing with me about the necessity of getting more help, I asked why he had even called to tell me this — didn’t he know that I would tell him to go to the health center? He said he just thought that I would want to know that my first-born child (his words) was sick again. I did! I do! But I think I irritated him by giving him advice that he expected, but didn’t really want to hear. I think this was one of those times when I was supposed to listen, commiserate, empathize, and sympathize — but not advise.
So, I called back right away to leave a message of apology for irritating him.
I’m just worried. I was feeling great about Sean’s final days in school — I thought he was fine and would sail through the end of finals and his show just fine — before I got that phone call. Now I’m worried all over again. It’s true what they say: ignorance is indeed bliss.
He seemed to be arguing with me when I told him that he should go back to the health center (which, since he saw them the first time, had confirmed that it wasn’t pneumonia that he had after all, but some kind of a cold virus that could lead to pneumonia if it went untreated). He has his juries behind him, but he said he has three finals on Thursday… and he was meeting with a partner from his French class in an hour to put together and rehearse a presentation… and he has a rehearsal for the show he’s in tonight… and a rehearsal and performance for that show all day tomorrow… and its dress rehearsal is Thursday night… and besides that, he doesn’t know if the health center will have an appointment when he can fit one in. (That, I said somewhat sarcastically, would require asking them.)
He’s my son, that’s for sure. Those are exactly the kinds of excuses I would have used myself when I was in college — or as recently as yesterday, probably — to justify why I should keep going, keep doing, keep achieving, keep working, keep pushing myself, keep doing what my mind and my calendar tell me I should be doing, even through sickness that might trip me up in a bigger way later.
In a classic demonstration of “Do as I say, not as I would do in your situation,” though, I told him — between his coughs — that I understand that he’s busy, but his health has to come first. He has to take care of himself and get more medical help as soon as possible so that any advice or meds can be in place and doing their jobs when he really needs them in two days. He reluctantly agreed to call for an appointment.
Because he seemed to be arguing with me about the necessity of getting more help, I asked why he had even called to tell me this — didn’t he know that I would tell him to go to the health center? He said he just thought that I would want to know that my first-born child (his words) was sick again. I did! I do! But I think I irritated him by giving him advice that he expected, but didn’t really want to hear. I think this was one of those times when I was supposed to listen, commiserate, empathize, and sympathize — but not advise.
So, I called back right away to leave a message of apology for irritating him.
I’m just worried. I was feeling great about Sean’s final days in school — I thought he was fine and would sail through the end of finals and his show just fine — before I got that phone call. Now I’m worried all over again. It’s true what they say: ignorance is indeed bliss.
