Vaguely uneasy
3.19.09
I’m having a vaguely uneasy feeling this week with Sean home for spring break. Even though I knew — and said in this very blog! — that I didn’t have lofty, unrealistic hopes and dreams for this week, somehow I keep thinking that I — all of us, really — should be making more out of it.
We go about our business — again, all of us, including Sean, who’s seeing friends and going to the SERF and hanging out with his laptop and taking naps — and we live our lives. The happy difference is that it’s four of us for this week — with Sean home from school and Alex here in Madison instead of away at his out-of-state job — rather than the two of us that it frequently is.
I have to remember that life is not very often about fireworks. Even our most cherished days — wedding days, the days when our children were born, and very special holidays — have routine elements just like any other. And so I thought I wouldn’t fall prey to thinking that there would, or should, be anything extraordinary about this week. Yet somehow I did.
It’s still the balancing act, too, among three competing elements: all of us doing what we need to do; my concerted effort to be fine with Sean doing his own thing, whatever that might be; and a focus, too, on setting aside special time to be the four-person family that we seldom get to be these days.
Sometimes I think too much.
We go about our business — again, all of us, including Sean, who’s seeing friends and going to the SERF and hanging out with his laptop and taking naps — and we live our lives. The happy difference is that it’s four of us for this week — with Sean home from school and Alex here in Madison instead of away at his out-of-state job — rather than the two of us that it frequently is.
I have to remember that life is not very often about fireworks. Even our most cherished days — wedding days, the days when our children were born, and very special holidays — have routine elements just like any other. And so I thought I wouldn’t fall prey to thinking that there would, or should, be anything extraordinary about this week. Yet somehow I did.
It’s still the balancing act, too, among three competing elements: all of us doing what we need to do; my concerted effort to be fine with Sean doing his own thing, whatever that might be; and a focus, too, on setting aside special time to be the four-person family that we seldom get to be these days.
Sometimes I think too much.
