Down time
2.23.09
I’m experiencing something that I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced before: down time. In my earlier life (high school, college), I never allowed myself much down time because I was always such an over-achiever, so driven. Then I went out into the working world and worked too hard there, too. What was driving me then? Beats me, but I was always the last one to leave the office. Then we had kids and, well, you know the direction that your life necessarily takes at that point. It’s so often a drive into a brick wall just to get everything done. It’s not that they’re not worth it, of course — quite the contrary — but it’s just that it seems like that’s how it goes: never-ending work and so little “me” time.
But now? Well, Alex is gone a lot at his out-of-state job (which has been a real roller-coaster of late, but he thinks he’ll be at it for a while); Claire is very busy being in a play and happily seeing her friends and wedging in school work in between; and Sean is “away” at school. The part-time business that I run is slow at the moment, and my other job at the university is, very thankfully, still there and proceeding smoothly.
So I seem to find myself more and more with blocks of time — we’re talking periods of several hours here — when I don’t have much to do. Honest to God! Twice last week I actually sat in a chair and read a book without multi-tasking. I don’t know the last time that that has happened. It’s perhaps never happened. Really. It felt so odd. I felt so odd — like I should jump up to go do something, but the truth was that I was caught up.
And today is another example: I have some things on my to-do list, but I have so much time in which to do them, relative to how long they’ll take, that I can take on other little unplanned activities along the way to getting them done and still get them done. At other times, I’m looking ahead in my planner to see if there’s something I can grab out of a future day to accomplish that day instead because I have the time.
This is uncharted territory, folks. No wonder I feel what seems like a sudden need to figure out what to do with myself now that I’m all grown up — I have time to think!
I believe there’s also an unanticipated backlash that comes with this, though: now that I have some more time, I feel all the more guarded and protective of it. Go figure.
But now? Well, Alex is gone a lot at his out-of-state job (which has been a real roller-coaster of late, but he thinks he’ll be at it for a while); Claire is very busy being in a play and happily seeing her friends and wedging in school work in between; and Sean is “away” at school. The part-time business that I run is slow at the moment, and my other job at the university is, very thankfully, still there and proceeding smoothly.
So I seem to find myself more and more with blocks of time — we’re talking periods of several hours here — when I don’t have much to do. Honest to God! Twice last week I actually sat in a chair and read a book without multi-tasking. I don’t know the last time that that has happened. It’s perhaps never happened. Really. It felt so odd. I felt so odd — like I should jump up to go do something, but the truth was that I was caught up.
And today is another example: I have some things on my to-do list, but I have so much time in which to do them, relative to how long they’ll take, that I can take on other little unplanned activities along the way to getting them done and still get them done. At other times, I’m looking ahead in my planner to see if there’s something I can grab out of a future day to accomplish that day instead because I have the time.
This is uncharted territory, folks. No wonder I feel what seems like a sudden need to figure out what to do with myself now that I’m all grown up — I have time to think!
I believe there’s also an unanticipated backlash that comes with this, though: now that I have some more time, I feel all the more guarded and protective of it. Go figure.
